College reunion season is wrapping up, and high school reunions seem to happen at varying times of the year. Whether you just had a reunion or have one coming up, everyone can use some help to make the most of a high school or college reunion. For extroverts, reunions are exhilarating because of the chance to surround oneself with tens, if not hundreds, of familiar faces. Introverts may be equally excited, but just the thought of navigating large event spaces to find friends can be daunting. Everyone can benefit from this guide to making the most of a high school or college reunion. However, I will highlight a few pointers specifically for introverts (people who need alone time to recharge and who prefer 1:1 or small group interactions).
Before I get into the details of how to make the most of a high school or college reunion, I’ll tell you a bit about my college experience and my 5-year college reunion.
HOW I MADE FRIENDS IN COLLEGE
Students hope to make life-long friends when they go to college. I was no different. Having gone to a predominantly white middle school and high school, I hoped to have a more diverse group of friends in college. Thankfully, I found amazing friends and a great sense of community through the Harvard Black Students Association and the Harvard Project for Asian and International Relations. Despite finding awesome friends in these communities, I’ve never been the type of person to be part of a specific “friend group.” Don’t get me wrong. I have several groups of friends, but as a friend recently described me, I can often be a “lone lion,” drifting from one group to another. So, as I approached my 5-year college reunion, I knew I’d have to be strategic if I wanted to see all of my friends.
MY 5-YEAR COLLEGE REUNION
Thankfully, my 5-year college reunion was everything I hoped it would be. Leading up to the weekend, I was filled with excitement.
As a social introvert, I made sure to plan out the weekend in a way that would allow me to see all the people I wanted to see without experiencing social fatigue. I started out by arriving early to Boston, where I connected with a couple medical school friends and my undergrad research mentor. These mini-reunions were laidback, and they got me even more excited to see my college friends. In addition to arriving early, I planned some coffee and breakfast meetups with friends during the downtime in the reunion schedule. At the official events, I mentally prepared myself to engage in lots of chitchat (something I’m actually not that fond of). Because I saved up my energy and mentally prepared to have small talk with the people I ran into, I never felt social fatigue during the reunion weekend. Instead, I had lots of laughs reconnecting with the folks who helped to make Harvard home for me.
Based on my experiences at my 5-year college reunion, I’ve created a 14 step guide to making the most of a high school or college reunion.
14 STEP GUIDE TO MAKING THE MOST OF A HIGH SCHOOL OR COLLEGE REUNION
LEADING UP TO THE REUNION
1. CHECK TO SEE IF YOUR SCHOOL OFFERS FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE
Though it is unlikely that your alumni association will publicize financial aid, there is a chance that registration discounts exist. Whether you’re still a student like I am or you’re otherwise not in a financial space to afford the registration costs, it never hurts to ask for financial assistance if you need it. Additionally, because a lot of the cost of attendance may go toward open bar events, asking for a discount if you don’t plan to drink alcohol is also a good idea.
2. REGISTER EARLY TO GET THE EARLY BIRD REGISTRATION PRICE
Both my high school and college reunions offered an early bird discount. Because I knew I would attend both, I registered prior to the deadlines to secure the cheaper prices. There’s NO REASON to pay more money to attend the exact same events. The events are likely to be already overpriced as is. (My recent reunion had a $95 event with food like pizza bites, tater tots, and TWINKIES -_-)
3. ASK TO CRASH WITH FRIENDS NEARBY
Reunions can be expensive. Staying at a friend’s place can be great for your wallet as well as your friendship! Crashing with a friend is a built-in and free method of reconnecting!
4. BOOK HOUSING IN ADVANCE
If you can’t (or don’t want to) stay with a friend or family member, you’ll want to book housing early. Whether you get a hotel or rent an AirBnB, availability will likely be low. You’ll have competition from others returning for reunions and maybe even families in town for graduations (if reunions and graduation co-occurs at your school). Book early so that you don’t end up with housing that’s janky or far away from your reunion.
5. ALLOW TIME BEFORE THE REUNION TO SETTLE IN
I got to Boston/Cambridge a day and a half before the official Harvard reunion events. I used this time to see non-college friends in Boston. I also visited my research mentor from undergrad. I had a chance to settle into reunions before the events really kicked off.
DURING THE REUNION
6. LOOK YOUR BEST
Yea I said it. If you have a bae, want a bae, or are planning to stay on #teamsingle for a while (or forever), it’s still important to look your best. Plan out your outfits in advance. Get your hair done. Keep your skin moisturized. Not only will you get mad compliments (and who doesn’t love compliments), but you’ll also look amazing in any and all pictures that occur. There will be MANY pictures.
7. BE INCLUSIVE
Reunion events can be overwhelming for extroverts and introverts alike. Imagine: you walk into a large event space where you maybe only know every fourth person. Where do you go? Who do you talk to first? Because others are likely feeling just as uneasy as you are, be inclusive – once you get a conversation going with a friend, invite others who may be standing around to join the conversation. I was the doer and recipient of this act of kindness, and I found it to be a great method of meeting new people at my reunion. Which leads me to the second point. Inclusivity includes introducing your friends to others they don’t know. It never hurts to help others to expand their social circles.
8. OPTIMIZE DOWN TIME
Introverts need moments throughout the day to recharge. On the other hand, extroverts recharge through social interaction. Regardless of where you fall on the introvert-extrovert spectrum, take time for yourself. Downtime during a reunion can be spent alone (I took some time to work on blog posts) or in scheduled 1:1 chats or small group meetups. I did the latter as well.
9. BE FLEXIBLE
You’ll probably run into folks everywhere. Keep some time open so that you can have meaningful impromptu conversations without feeling rushed.
10. MENTALLY PREPARE TO TALK A LOT
If you’re anything like me, a day full of conversation can be exhausting. Extroverts get energy from socializing, whereas conversation can sap energy from introverts. By mentally preparing myself for the ample conversations to come, I did not feel drained by conversation during my college reunion. Because I looked forward to catching up with old classmates, the small talk that usually bores me was actually a lot of fun.
11. GO AT YOUR OWN PACE
Going at your own pace is sort of a combination of steps 8-10 above. Reunions can be series of fast-paced events. Make sure that you take the time to ENJOY yourself. If that means you go to every scheduled event and schedule meetups from dusk ’til dawn, go for it! If you think you’ll get the most out of your reunion by balancing events with “me time” make sure you plan downtime into your reunion schedule. There will be lots of events, but you don’t have to go to everything. You’re there to see friends. Remember to keep that as the focus.
12. DON’T FORGET TO REACH OUT TO PROFESSORS AND MENTORS
In addition to all of the friends that you made in high school or college, there are probably a few teachers, professors, or mentor who made an impact as well. Reunions are a great opportunity to check in with these folks and update them on all of the amazing things that you’ve been doing since you last saw each other.
AFTER THE REUNION
13. FOLLOW UP WITH THE PEOPLE YOU SAW OR MET
Don’t let the next reunion be the next time to reach out to or chat with friends. In the digital era, our friends are just a text, call, email, or video chat away. Let folks know that you were glad to see them, and follow up with them as much as you can!
14. REFLECT ON THE EXPERIENCE
Reunions can be a whirlwind. It doesn’t matter if your reunion was a few hours or a few days. Once the event is over, take a few moments to reflect on the experience that you had. What conversations stood out? Who would you like to remain in contact with? Do you want to arrange to see some people more regularly? Whatever the reflection, you’ll be sure to have some personal action items if you allow yourself time to sit and reminisce about the reunion.
The above guide to making the most of your high school or college reunion represent my reflections on my recent 5-year college reunion. I had such a great time, and I think that this was because I used these steps above. Leave a comment below to let me know if you think I missed any key points on how to make the most of a high school or college reunion!
Peace and blessings,
-Atasha Jordan, MD (to be)
