Match Week is a high-energy, anxiety-provoking week. Whether you matched through the National Residency Match Program (NRMP) or through the Post-Match Supplemental Offer and Acceptance Program (SOAP), Match Day is a day you’ve been waiting on for a long time.
For graduating medical students, Match Day represents the day that you discover where you will train for residency. The day is lauded as one of the most memorable days of medical school. But while some medical students are elated by the outcome of The Match, others are left to process their Match Day disappointment.
Over the years, especially in the social media era, there’s evolved an insensitive focus on matching at one’s top-ranked residency program. However, year after year, the majority of fourth-year medical students do not match at the program they ranked first for residency. According to the NRMP, less than half of US medical school graduates (47.1%) matched at their first-choice program. On the other hand, the vast majority (72.5%) matched at one of their top three programs. So, while many of your classmates might be beaming about the results of The Match, you might be in the group of folks trying to process Match Day disappointment.
As far as processing Match Day disappointment is concerned, I want to first break this down based on the different possibly disappointing outcomes of The Match.
YOU DID NOT MATCH AT YOUR #1 PROGRAM
If you fall into the 52.9% of medical students who did not match at the program you ranked first, remember that you’re not alone. Many of your friends and lots of people on social media will proudly share that they ranked at their top choice for residency. It’s okay to be happy for them while you process your own results of The Match. Just keep in mind that there are lots of other, likely less vocal, students similarly processing the fact that they did not match at their most preferred residency program. Allow yourself the time to soak in your reality. In the end, you’ll likely realize that you matched exactly where you were meant to be.
COUPLES MATCHING GONE WRONG
Unexpected couples matching outcomes are doubly disappointing. In the same moment, you’ve possibly realized that you ranked at a program that was less preferred and/or you unintentionally matched in a different city than your partner. In addition to taking the time to process your feelings about where you have matched, you’ll likely need additional time to reflect on what the match results mean for your relationship. Of all the possible disappointing Match Day outcomes, this one might take the most effort to overcome. Recognize that your partner likely has similar emotions at this time. Process the results together. Some folks successfully navigate residency apart, and others choose to part ways prior to the end of medical school. Relationship decisions shouldn’t be made in haste in the setting of Match Day disappointment.
MATCHED IN A CITY YOU DID NOT ANTICIPATE
If you matched at a program lower down on your list, you might be gearing up to move to a city that you did not anticipate living in. Whether you’re moving across the country, away from family, or to a city you know relatively little about, this reality can be daunting. Take time to remember the positive attributes of the city that made you feel comfortable enough to rank the program at all. Think of the people you met and the offerings of the residency program. Slowly, as you recover from your disappointment, you’ll remember why you ranked that city and that program in the first place.
MATCHED VIA THE SOAP
If you’re someone who matched via the SOAP, first of all, congrats!! You matched!!! Nonetheless, Match Week was probably one of the most emotionally challenging weeks of your life. The disappointment of not matching via the NRMP is likely still at play for you on and after Match Day. As a result, you may have some residual Match Day disappointment unrelated to the actual program you’ve matched at. Take time to recharge as needed to refill your emotional stores. Then, try to be proactive about learning about the program you’ve matched at and the residents there. This might help to ease your apprehensions.
SUMMARY OF GUIDELINES TO PROCESSING MATCH DAY DISAPPOINTMENT
1. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR EMOTIONS – POSITIVE, NEGATIVE, OR IN BETWEEN
2. REMEMBER THAT IT’S OKAY TO BE DISAPPOINTED
3. DISCUSS YOUR EMOTIONS WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY
4. FIND CLASSMATES WHO SHARE YOUR SENTIMENTS
5. INDULGE IN ACTIVITIES OF SELF-CARE
6. CONSIDER STAYING OFF OF SOCIAL MEDIA FOR SOME TIME
7. REMEMBER THAT YOU HAVE A JOB, AND SOON YOU WILL BE A PHYSICIAN!
8. WHEN READY, CELEBRATE THE ACHIEVEMENT OF MATCHING TO A RESIDENCY PROGRAM
As you process your Match Day disappointment, remember that you are not alone. Matching at a program you did not anticipate matching at will likely come as a blow initially. But remember that wherever you matched is the place that wanted you most! Once residency starts, you’ll realize how important it is to be at a place where you are valued and treated as such. It might take some days or even weeks for your Match Day disappointment to dissipate, but likely, you’ll wake up one day to realize that things turned out for the best!
